Beefus Von Griefus: Wüden Boi Album Covers (And Other Artworks)

Wüden Boi's main mancreature, Scufflemoss Treemen and I have formed an alliance many moons ago, and I think it's finally time to reveal the tale...

I remember being somewhere, on some farm, chewing on a cow's leg as the other one was trying to kick me in the face. I guess all the high pitched distressed Mooing traveled over the winds of fate and a group of peasants angrily approached before beating the living piss out of me with farm equipment. I remember waking up somewhere completely different, bruised and confused, and swaying slightly back n forth.

I was on a damn boat! To an unknown location they took me, it seemed like forever and a day.

When we arrived they lead me out onto the beach, kicked my back and set sail without any ibuprofen. Since watching the ship disappear into the horizon was too depressing to watch I gave myself a tour of the island perimeter. Not much to find, seemed as though there was no one really there. Until a few days later inland, I discovered what looked like a visually impaired broken tree branch singing to a group of rocks. Whether he placed them there or they gathered themselves I do not know.

We had a conversation, I asked him if he was from Transylvania, he pulled some bulbasaur shit and gave me a vine whip to the face. After all the pleasantries I suggested he turn himself into a raft and we boogie-woogie the hell out of this death trap and forge our destiny elsewhere. He refused, even after I said please, so we resorted to fashioning one out of coconuts instead and set sail! The seas were choppy, we did a few barrel rolls, but the gods shined opportunity down upon as when we slammed up against another ship.

We climbed up the side and peered through the cannon windows, PIRATES!

We waited until they were all eating in the same spot with their backs turned to us, which is definitely what happens on all pirate ships. We snuck onboard, I went down into the cargo and Scufflemoss made his way to the bow, breaking off the big boobied lady and placing himself there instead. No one seemed to notice because the men were all arguing over an etching of a woman's ankle.

It was going pretty well for a month... I remained down below eating oranges and rats, fashioning myself some new clothes from their pelts. Scufflemoss was enjoying the nice sea breeze except when birds would land on his head. But a month in a stiff position doesn't do you any favours. He couldn't handle it anymore and had to stretch, trying to be stealthy he turned to one side and the loudest dark Thundercrack you've ever heard came from the bow. Every head turned, doors opened, and a mass exodus began. The cover was blown so Scufflemoss did what he could....

"HALT!!!!! You have awoken me and with that I bring you a CURSE!" all eyes bulged from their sockets, a Harryhausen moment come to life! "If you do not stop dilly dallying as a petty excuse for pirates, I will sink this boat and your souls will be shackled to roam the sea for ever more! ETERNITY!!!!!!". A visible shake ran through all the men, gasps and murmurs began as Scufflemoss did some of his best spooky gesturing. He removed himself from the bow and walked upon the deck. One by one the men dove overboard into shark infested waters.

I popped up from a hatch and congratulated him on his performance before realizing now that we have to man (and creature) this boat without knowing anything about navigating the wide open sea, nor which sea we were actually on at this point. So we got to it, it's just a bigger raft, I would repeat to myself as I fumbled the controls.

Everyday was a new struggle of boredom which we filled with pranks, but trying to shove eachother off the boat was getting old very fast so I dug up some old rat bones and crudely carved some phallic objects. We moved from one side of the map to the other, I recall someone call it Chest or something similar, no clue. Around that time Scufflemoss began to sing his melodies and rhymes which always made me fall asleep peacefully. And before long we finally saw a lump on the horizon....

LAND HO!!!!!!

It sure was, solid friggin land for once. We crashed our ship right into these little wooden walkways, people screamed, they were obviously so excited to see us back....although I am not sure I came from this land at all. A boy can dream, Yes?

Over to the left people were examining some vases and cutlery, to the right a man in flamboyant clothing is followed by a gaggle of giggling girls (who all smelled like onions for some reason), but right ahead of me was the livestock center guarded by a little old man. So I took my chance and darted for the first cow leg I saw. CHOMP! My teeth were diggin in, blood down my chin, onlookers howling in terror. The good old days were back in action, and during all that mayhem Scufflemoss said "You should do the artwork for my musical project's album covers!!!!" or something like that, so I shook his hand and got back to my business.

A few hundred years passed since that fatefully tasty day, and we have reconnected.

Now that he finally figured out how to use a computer and microphone there have been a few albums released and live shows played in AH MARE EEKA.

To celebrate his third album coming out very soon I figured I would give you a trip down memory lane with some scribbles I did for the boy since our reunion!