Looky Looky Miniatures N Booky
A Tale Of Tales, Cheeseburgers And Snails, Dungeons And Flails, Buttcracks And Parasails...
...But Not Really. It's more or less about Truck Nuts...I mean Zines...
...But Not Really. It's more or less about Truck Nuts...I mean Zines...
Trenton's Punk Rock Flea Market kicks off it's April Easter Event with pretty darn decent weather, everyone is bippin and boppin, as was I off three hours of sleep, setting up shop and being antisocial. Abysmal turnout, lots of lookie-loos but not BuyOrDies. The best customer was this IRL Pixie with an infectious smile and eyes full of wonder who grabbed an Orange Puppet called "Screech", they were having trouble deciding on which colours to mix, analysis paralysis, so I suggested I pull out a D20 and they could roll for it. Their response was to pull out a D4, a fucking Nerd Caltrop, and just chose orange anyways.
Second Day rolls around, apparently a few vendors bailed and new ones were to fill up the empty tables. A few new faces here and there, I don't pay much attention as I'm in a fairly Shite mood due to painful feet syndrome (lose some weight fat ass). Da Boss Roni says we should go walk around with Sherbs and Nilla, I reluctantly agree, and we put boot to arena floor. I get literally a booth over and nearly have a fucking stroke as something blue grabs my vision and I see the word Dungeon. A semi-excited semi-distressed sound escapes my mouth "Wait wait is this Claire?!" and my blind ass eyes can't see the huge sign that says Claire Connelly in the middle of their table, to which Roni confirms Yes. Either a surge of energy occurred or I thought about sugar and my blood pressure spiked, but I was very happy. Instant mood shift.
We walked around, talked to a few people, saw new vendors, I made one laugh so hard they gave me free Coconut Chocolate thingies. And as I headed back I noticed they were finally back at their booth. I scooted over while someone was observing the miniatures Paige Connelly (Her Twin Sister!) makes, and I flashed a $5 bill to assert dominance over the poser next to me. I grabbed Dungeon 134 and ran away. This zine sold out before I had a chance to buy it when I first found out about it, I had been following Claire since I started my current Instagram zine account, and always wanted a copy, so this was a holy grail moment. Also the first time I've ever met another zine maker in real life.
Most of the day was spent as a mix of pretending I gave a shit about selling puppets to people who were fairly indifferent about it, and then me running over and bothering Paige and Claire. I ended up buying a handful more stuff and they even gave me Traveler's Trunk for free because I'm Super Sugoi. Besides their suggestion of giving Sherbs a pair of Truck Nuts, one of my favourite bits was discussing Favourite and Least Favourite tattoos to do and somehow I remember "Grandma Playing Tennis Whilst Jet Skiing on The Great Wave Off Kanagawa by Hokusai" but I can't remember which category it went in. Claire is still doing the apprenticeship at North Jersey Tattoo and is accepting ding dongs (not the food) for inking.
Like I mentioned earlier how Paige kitbashes and sculpts miniatures, one of my favourites is the Meganob Shitass Babby as seen below. There was a horde of Demon Toads, Awakened Candles, Pestilence Pals (good for your Nurgle Army!), and of course the ever dapper Portafellow who is indeed a shroom. They come in various colours as you can see in the first photo in this post. But for a better view go check out her shop HERE.
After One 1 Hour At Mad Dok Grotsnik's Daykare
Do Yer Titz Hang Low, Kanya Tie Em In A Bow
But maybe you have a child and if they don't start reading soon they will be chucked out of the tribe and eaten by rats!? Then maybe you should check out the children's book she illustrated called Release The Chickens! But maybe your child started shoving your polyhedral dice up their nose and you're tired of taking them to the ER every couple days? Then it sounds like you need to break out Ruins Of Dim Kalduhr which is a Solo Time Traveling Dungeon Building Journaling RPG.
Woah! Can You Spot The (Not So) Hidden Butthole!?
So you're saying the goblin that clawed from your putrid loins isn't feeling quite inspired enough to play? Sounds like a job for ONIONS! Yes, That's Him, The Greatest Warrior Alive! I was only able to pick up Diced Onions: A Side Quest at the booth but you can read Issue 01 and Issue 02.
Still not inspired by such adventures? Time to become Life Threatening and explain how if dice don't roll this will become a sneak preview to their near future!
But what if your mutated offspring just discovered stuff like Kamen Rider, UltraMan, and Shigeru Mizuki? Then maybe you would be more interested in something along the lines of Locust Joe VS Silver Sacrifice as seen below.
But sometimes you had enough of this kawaii ass fantasy shit and need some kawaii ass historical monsters that are also tattoo flash designs!? Well then Summer Of Yokai was made just for you! Are you a Yokai Freak like me? Have multiple books on their origins and studies on them? Did you purchase Pandemonium On Parade only to figure out it's some dingus' college thesis and kinda boring as hell?
Yeah well, plenty of your favourite Yokai are represented here, you can cross reference them with all those great Yokai Spook Warfare films from the 60s or the Takashi Miike version from 2005! And best of all, get them stabbed into your flesh by Claire herself if you're lucky enough.
Yeah yeah yeah spooky monsters might not be your thing, you're looking for something more simplistic, to the point, something that defines you! Try this on for size?
But maybe you're in the mood for some Media on these two?
In Conclusion:
My day was saved by these two.
I almost forgot about the stabbing foot pain.
Hope we overlap again!
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